Failure Sucks No Matter How You Put It

Even though I could come up with a million excuses for not finishing Script Frenzy for the 2nd time, out of 3, failure… it just sucks. I can say that even if I tried to write that script like a maniac in the last week, I would’ve murdered my school work, but as I sit here at this very moment, I’m avoiding doing work I’m supposed to be doing. Add up all the hours I sit trying to distract myself from the tasks that need to be done, and I’ve got enough time for several scripts a month.

That’s all very depressing -- however, one thing I finally realized is that no matter how much I love watching TV shows, TV writing isn’t my thing. The first time I did Script Frenzy and the only time I won, I wrote a simple movie script. I think the root of the problem is that I’m intuitive (and sometimes just plain random) and these TV script guidelines just end up frustrating me in the end. I do hope, though, that this isn’t a part of a pattern. I’m definitely not planning to lose NaNoWriMo this year! Failure isn’t my thing. I like to win.

On a lighter note, the 90s novel is seeing light after a stall at a hard scene. I think the problem was that I didn’t look forward to writing a sequence of events that wouldn’t be “explosive” enough for my taste… well, now I realized--why write them then? Make a chapter break and a timeline break. Then the good stuff’s going to start. I think I feel a chase scene looming in 5-6 pages.

Oh, and I included a snippet from the very same “hard scene.” Now off to continue avoiding what I’m supposed to be doing!

5 words that I love:

- Luscious
- Murk
- Manila
- Utter
- Murmur

43 Things

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a
Self-Knowing Self-Improving Builder

Just something I did in relation to my previous post. I have 30/43 things on my new 43 Things account. Actually, I was surprised... I thought I wanted to do a lot more. My list is at: http://www.43things.com/person/lavendrin

If There Were No Limits

I’m a little behind in my script, at 23 pages when I should be at 37, but since all I have to do is finish my pilot and begin the 2nd episode (no middles), a few word wars can fix the numbers. My actual novel is my real worry. I’ve been stuck at a scene which seems unimportant, but is so awkward, I keep coming back to it and wondering if I’m going in the wrong direction. I guess every novel has a point where the writer looks back and wonders what’s going on.

My problem is my constant wondering “if there were no limits, then…” Putting characters in crazy situations that are in an odd way realistic is fun (and the entire point), but sometimes I wonder if I go too far. For example, my MC travels back in time. Cool. The character that sends her back in time pursues her through some kind of crazy physics metamorphosis even I can barely understand. Very interesting: intriguing, even. Stalker convinces MC to join his band? Um, why? Because the MC always wanted to be in a band… or because I always wanted to be in a band? Then I wonder what I’m doing here. Am I testing out all the different paths I can take, but won’t have the courage to? Should I drop this novel and instead pursue all of these paths that I apparently secretly still hope for? I’m all about the experience, after all. What kind of hypocrite is this person I am? Arguing with myself in third person - it doesn’t get any better than this.

Currently Listening To: The Fragile by NiN

5 Words I Love:
- Dilemma
- Entice
- Nimble
- Guitar
- Valor

How Two Works Intertwine

I’m surprised, but working on two projects at once hasn’t revealed any difficulties yet. I think it’s because they’re in different formats, a novel and a script, and since I’m very visual, my mind can differentiate between the two stories well. As a bonus, since the subjects are somewhat related (both realistic*, both inspired by music), I get inspiration for one story while writing the other, and it’s a pleasant cycle. (I better not be jinxing myself.) I included an excerpt from my script. It’s not great, since I… forgot how to write scripts since last April.

Yesterday. I wrote 2.5 pages of my novel, above average, and I think it was because I haven’t wrote much the day before. The idea I discussed before, with the insanity, I haven’t even included yet… but the psychological theme inspired me to look into another idea I had before, about having a character from the future being able to go back in time, mentally, and take control of his younger self to do his bidding. Since my MC is hopelessly attracted to the ‘younger’ version, I made myself a nice conflict, with a lot of potential.

Today, I made up a lot of slack on my script, from yesterday, and now have a total of 11 pages (10 if you don’t count the title page). I’m really surprised how easy it is to fill up the pages… but I shouldn’t be, really. I tend to write a whole lot of dialog. Right now, I introduced a new character, who I really like since she’s rebellious and all (I‘m obsessed with these characters). I’m hoping she’ll stir up a lot of trouble for my MC so she finally decides that she’s through with the people who are trying to control her. And that’s just the pilot.

*realistic enough for my world

Listening to right now: Happiness in Slavery by NiN

5 words that I love:
- Crumple
- Maroon
- Ajar
- Sullen
- Dust